


I Am The Man

by Lokiiwood



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Post-Break Up, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 13:04:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17224586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokiiwood/pseuds/Lokiiwood
Summary: You swallowed your hesitation and fell into his lips’ embrace, and he savored the quick brushes of delicate pink until he couldn’t handle the gentleness. His hand grasped your arm and the other brushed against your cheek. You were so soft, so…“Beautiful.”You pulled away, but he let his hand linger, caressing the cute dip of your cheeks and hint of bone."Is this...okay?"His eyes followed the trail of his fingernail down and around your cheek.“If you don’t want me, we can stop. But I want you.”





	I Am The Man

**Author's Note:**

> [Based on the song “Can I Get a Witness” by SonReal](https://open.spotify.com/track/1xq57PikDPbkU2M1WK4unF?si=6Hzqw0DoRiS06wNqbj2Zzw) that my friend @Glitchedmirrors introduced me to.
> 
>  
> 
> It's not a direct translation of the song or anything, but it did make me want to write a story about Zen reclaiming his confidence, so I felt it'd be kind to include the inspiration for this. :)

Zen had given up. It was a freeing, but terrifying realization. It meant he could fix it now, fix the drain that encased his heart every time he woke up with the gray dread of facing the new day. The thought came to him that morning as he brushed his teeth, staring at his sleepy expression blinking in the mirror. _“Am I even doing this for me?”_ He had asked himself. Then, he nearly spat out his toothbrush when the answer came slamming his bathroom door open. He watched her annoyed grimace in the reflection, checking her watch and shaking her head before stomping off.

 

No, this wasn’t for him at all. Since when had he disregarded his dreams, since when had they become hers? Was he being selfish for these intrusions?

 

Even with the doubts he tried to use as excuses, he knew the answer. She...didn't even love him. She hadn't loved him for a long time, just what she could mold him to be. But that - all of this - wasn't him at all. And even knowing that he approached her before they left that morning for confirmation that it somehow all wasn't a big misunderstanding, that the chaos in his head was a fever dream she could kiss him out of.

 

“We’re basically broken up anyway, let’s talk later, just focus on the shoot.”

 

She hadn’t even tried to reassure him, hadn’t even tried to reassure herself, hadn’t even tried to make him feel like he was wrong about anything, or that he was _worth_ anything to her.

 

Zen lay now in his trailer, careful not to turn on his side and ruin his expensive makeup but almost too disturbed to care. Yeah...he gave up. Wow. He chuckled to himself, the bright lights of the low ceiling fixtures feeling more akin to sunlight now than the prison he always found his trailer to be. His arms stretched and he slowly sat up to inspect the thin, black silk that flared around his arms. He almost looked like a ballerina in the outfit for the last of today's shoot, one where he would be the center focus model in a "theater" theme. Ironic, since that's what he should be doing; _would_ be doing if he hadn’t followed his girlfriend - more like his manager - to this hellscape of modeling. It’s not that he didn’t enjoy it, but people were now speaking to him as “Zen the model” instead of “Zen the musical actor” and he hated it. He hated the empty, tired feeling as the lights dimmed after a wrap-up instead of the blazing optimism for the next show.

 

The fame came easy enough with the new direction, and he ate it up, the sweet taste of recognition and honeyed praise enough to satisfy him. But no longer. Today was the last shoot.

 

A knock at his door brought him out of the bed and to the trailer entrance, an apprehensive hand steadying on the knob before pushing it all the way open. He was brave now that he knew what he wanted, and he could handle whatever last-minute change it was or the grueling chiding of his “manager.”

 

Okay, maybe he wasn't brave, because on any other day he would've suppressed the damning smile that perked his lips. You. His only solace, waving a hesitant hand before returning the same expression. He loved that he could do that to you, that you actually enjoyed his smile enough to match it.

 

“Zen! Um, I got more fan mail for you,” you said, pointing to the bulky, red bag strapped across your torso.

 

No, he _is_ brave. He considered his options. He didn’t really have a reason to keep up this game of distance, did he?

 

"Thank you. Come in?" he suggested, opening the door wider and climbing the short steps to make room for you. You hesitated like he assumed you would, having never been invited in before.

 

"It's okay, I'd love it if you stayed a while. With me." Honest, unashamed, upfront, the man, him. This is who he was.

 

“U-um, alright, sure…” You laughed and took careful steps in before he reached in and grabbed the heavy bag from you, placing it under the bed.

 

“Oh, aren’t you…?”

 

He shook his head and indicated for you to sit at the small two-seater that encompassed the trailer’s guest seating. And instead of sitting or putting the bed up, he sat right next to you in the squished-together seats.

 

You seemed uncomfortable, so he leaned away to give you as much room as possible. “Want something to drink? Water? Tea? Coffee? Beer?” He laughed at the last suggestion and winked to let you know it was a joke.

 

“I’d love a beer actually,” you laughed back with a wink of your own.

 

“Well,” he stuttered, jumping up, “It’ll be our secret if we both have one.” Wow, his heart was really beating fast, huh? He reached in the back of his mini-fridge to get the coldest beer he had and promptly opened it, passing it to you before retrieving his own.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Zen sat back down, still giving you space but staring at you all the same. When had you both been alone like this? You shared a special bond for sure, tucked away interactions in the quick lulls of a shoot, but you had never hung out like this. He knew enough about you to consider you an unofficial acquaintance--you were a great P.A., a hard worker who respected his fans unlike most of the others on sets, insanely cute, and far more humble than he was comfortable with.

 

He took a sip from his beer can and you followed him. After placing it back down, he sat his chin in his hand, fingers absentmindedly tapping at his cheek. “So-o,” he dragged out, “I want to get to know you more, I like you. Do you have a boyfriend?” You nearly choked on your beer and stared back at him. Oh, were you blushing? He couldn’t tell, but that look you were giving him could get him drunk. He took another sip.

 

“U-uh, me? No, I don’t, um...No, I’m single. I kind of have to be with my schedule, ha.” Your eyes widened and you waved a hand. “Um, not that you aren’t busy! I’m sure _you’re way_ busier than me! I mean, I know you’re way busier. Sorry. And you have a...girlfriend, so, I guess you’re just better at time management, huh?”

 

“I’m single too,” he hummed, another sip taken and another grin given.

 

“W-what? But, um, the woman, your manager, she…”

 

“She broke up with me.” Or was it the other way around? He wasn’t sure, but at the very least it _felt_ like she'd left him - a long time ago.

 

"With you? That's crazy! Who'd break up with you!" you gasped. Zen chuckled at your offense.

 

"Who'd break up with the handsome, famous Zen who only looks pretty?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“That’s not true! You’re so nice and funny, and you’re with the RFA so you have such a kind heart, and-and-” You stammered and then took a long gulp of your beer.

 

So now _he_ was the one blushing. “You think I’m...nice? And funny?”

 

You kept gulping and finally put it down, avoiding direct eye contact. He leaned in as you finally responded.

 

"Of course. The highlight of my days on this set is just the few minutes I get to talk to someone who isn't such a...prude. Or prick. You don't look down on me, so I'm…" You looked back at him and clammed up. He knew he was close, but…

 

"Is it okay if I kiss you?"

 

Your eyes fell to his lips, but you didn't back away. He leaned all the way in and it was quiet - quiet as a set in the very beginning of a shoot. Zen thought about all the times he'd wanted to lean into you; those moments of still dark as the only lights in the area beamed down on a different model; the moments when all other eyes were finally off of his practiced neutral frame except yours; when you both were silent but enjoying each other's company, making silly faces and attempting - and failing - to mouth out a conversation.

 

He hadn’t expected you to taste like this, like chilled water and the faint hint of the beer you’d been drinking. Had Zen known you’d feel so much like home, maybe he would’ve been braver earlier.

 

You swallowed your hesitation and fell into his lips’ embrace, and he savored the quick brushes of delicate pink until he couldn’t handle the gentleness. His hand grasped your arm and the other brushed against your cheek. You were so soft, so…

 

“Beautiful.”

 

You pulled away, but he let his hand linger, caressing the cute dip of your cheeks and hint of bone.

 

"Is this...okay?"

 

His eyes followed the trail of his fingernail down and around your cheek.

 

“If you don’t want me, we can stop. But I want you.”

 

That must’ve struck a nerve because you nearly launched yourself back into him and he moaned at the aggression. He let you have your way with him, following the pace you set as you got comfortable enough to touch him back, hand wandering over his clothed chest. Suddenly, keeping his makeup and outfit neat didn’t matter so much anymore.

 

Zen pulled back the hand from your arm and raised his glittering top so you could touch his bare chest. He smirked into your kiss, feeling your delicate tracing and appreciation over what he couldn't deny was a perfect chisel. For you to touch it like this was all the motivation he needed to keep it up.

 

Both your hands smoothed over his abs, rubbing down and up every curve and dip until he felt himself hardening. “Babe, let’s move to my bed.”

 

It was only a step away but what kind of Prince would he be without treating you like royalty? You nodded and he swooped you up bridal-style, sitting on the bed and continuing the kiss. Your legs kicked out, twitching on his while your ass sat on his hard-on. Zen pulled away suddenly to look into your eyes, breaths coming out in different lengths as he thought over what the hell he was doing. It lasted a few seconds as he smoothed kisses over your nose and cheeks, then returned to your lips.

 

Your hands continued playing with his chest and you hummed into the make-out session. God, you tasted so good…you sounded _so good_ , much better than that hushed tone you kept with him when others were around, which seemed like always.

 

"How far?" he asked, parting his lips briefly and placing his forehead against yours.

 

“Zen?”

 

“How far...do you want us to go?”

 

You blinked at him for a couple seconds before you moved your forehead to nip at him again. One hand left a chill on his chest as it delicately gripped the closest hand, moving to lay it on your chest. Automatically, Zen began kneading at the mound as your hand now moved his other hand to rest between your legs. And automatically, it traced up and down.

 

“That doesn’t answer my question, you know,” he smirked, pressing his tongue into your mouth before you could respond. He waited until he was nearly gagging for air before he pulled away again with a pant to match yours.

 

"Do you want to just find out?" he laughed, the fingers ghosting along your crotch now pulling gently at your zipper.

 

You bit your lip and nodded, grinding in his touches. He raised an eyebrow and shoved the zipper down, staring intently into your eyes. The more he teased, the more lust-filled your expression got, and the more you wanted him, the more he wanted you - if that were possible. Zen shoved your pants down as much as he could in his position, and you lifted yourself to help slide them to your ankles.

 

He licked at his lips and continued squeezing at your chest, eyes fluttering as you sat back down on his hard-on. God, with the light material of his own pants, he could so clearly feel the outline of your panties pressing in. In a tingling realization, he knew exactly how far he wanted to go.

 

“B-babe,” he started. How was he supposed to word this politely?

 

“Yeah?” you gasped out, starting to grind again. Oh, that was _very_ distracting.

 

“Do you - ah, ha,” his question turned into a choked laugh as he tried to concentrate on your face instead of the curves of your panty outline.

 

You beamed down at him and giggled. “Yes, Zen?”

 

His confidence - or maybe his _need_ \- came back in full force as he gazed up at that dazzling face.

 

“I’ve liked you for a long time, and I get the impression that you like me,” he finally blabbed out, “And you’re really, _really_ turning me on right now so-”

 

You leaned down to cut him off with a gentle kiss that he instantly melted into, growling when you pulled away.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Yeah?” he asked, exasperated.

 

You nodded and looked down to your legs, shyly moving a hand to pull your panties down to meet your shorts at your ankles. He watched you do it, hungry and nearly jerking in place. He gulped back an unflattering noise and grinned.

 

“Kiss me again.”

 

You did so, and he let his hand roam over your breasts, gently squeezing and twisting your nipples as the other hand rubbed down your backside to grope at your ass. He lightly moaned as he felt you, tasting your lips deeper until he knew the fabric blocking his full contact needed to be removed.

 

Both of Zen’s hands felt cold as they left you for his black tights, pulling them and his boxers down to his knees. He grunted as he freed his painfully hard cock and flicked his eyes up to study your reaction. And he liked what he saw: Surprise, arousal, excitement.

 

_Tell me how great it looks, doll._

“Zen, you’re…”

 

He chuckled. “What’s wrong, honey? Stage fright?”

 

You made a pouting face and feigned disinterest - but you weren’t a very good actor. “Oh, _please_.” You even rolled your eyes to complete the act, and he’d clap for you if his hands weren’t otherwise preoccupied with strumming over your bare ass.

 

“Do me a favor and reach under the pillow for some condoms, sweetheart?”

 

It was a request, but also your out. He was nervous you’d refuse, but you’d never be able to tell from the confidence he projected out for you.

 

“I’m on the p-pill.”

 

He quirked an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

 

“Y-yeah.”

 

Oh, you were _so_ cute when you were flustered.

 

“And when’s the last time you were tested, hm?”

 

He didn’t mean to dead the conversation, but he had a career that needed prime physical condition and he had no time for...setbacks.

 

“Yesterday.”

 

Zen laughed and tilted his head back.

 

“W-what?”

 

“Don’t be self-conscious, honey...I was tested yesterday, too. It just means we were meant to be.”

 

You worried your lip and he grinned wider.

 

“Come here,” he winked.

 

You obeyed again, softly kissing him, a light moan coming out as he teasingly bit at your bottom lip. Zen’s hands squeezed your cheeks together and pushed you against his shuddering cock. He could feel just _how_ wet you were starting to drip over his legs and moaned into you. You were _so hot_ \- so _amazing_ \- so _perfect_ here - together with him. His very stomach felt twisted in knots from his own barely contained desire.

 

“Zen, you’re a beast,” you whispered.

 

Yes, yes _he was_. His hands snatched up to grab your waist, guiding you to rub your most sensitive part against his throbbing member.

 

“Fuck me.”

 

You nodded and lifted up, one hand steadying yourself with his shoulder while the other gripped his cock to position it under you. He instantly thrust into your hand, knowing it was making the positioning difficult but too enamored by the touch of your fingertips to care. You were looking down, but him? He was staring at you, your cheeks, the tip of your nose, your opened mouth, focused eyes…

 

Every detail he absorbed as quietly as his ragged breaths would allow, even as he felt himself start to be swallowed by the wet and warm bliss of you. Your eyes closed and you let out beautiful, strangled gasps as you continued to allow him wholly inside.

 

“Zen…”

 

The moan of his name sent a wave of heat pulsating through him and his eyes fluttered close to try and control it. This feeling - this pleasure you were giving him was love.

 

You sat all the way down with a final gasp and trembled, finally shifting your gaze back to where it belonged - on him. He smiled up at you, one hand brushing against your cheek. To be here, so intimate with you, and to stare straight back at him, he felt connected in a way that was something far more powerful than mere lust.

 

But, of course, the lust was powerful in its own right. The hand returned to join the other on your waist and he flashed another one of his dazzling smiles that only grew when you shyly grinned back.

 

He started slow, helping you start a steady pace of sliding up and down and adoring your every reaction. He added his own short thrusts and your hands flew to his chest for support before realizing they were touching the sensitive, thin lace of his costume. You hurriedly moved them to his shoulders instead and he chuckled.

 

Zen growled and moved you faster, drinking in your quiet gasps that were being forced into held back moans. How loud could you get? Were you a screamer, or was this as loud as your body allowed? Somehow, he doubted it. He sat up straighter for a deeper angle and laughed again when you cried out. That answered that.

 

He covered your moans with his mouth, murmuring for you to be as loud as you wanted, giving encouraging kisses that drew out every sound he craved. You repeated his name and he struggled to keep himself together lest he hurt you from his own aggression. This being your first time together with no condom he already realized had ruined him. He couldn’t go back from this, not with how all-enveloping the warmth of you was around him.

 

It came out before he even realized what he was saying. “How much does your b-birth control cost?”

 

You slowed down, he didn’t. “W-what?”

 

You moaned out again and tried to piece together a coherent response. The fact he was the reason you were struggling did nothing to convince him to slow down - the opposite even as he sped up, loving the way you stumbled over your words and thoughts as if he were fucking them out of you.

 

He decided not to repeat the question for now, grinning at your frustration. The smile quickly disappeared as you cried out his name again and he felt the coils tighten. But you needed to cum first, or he wouldn’t forgive himself. Zen positioned his hands lower for a good grip and suddenly lifted you.

 

You squealed, arms wrapping around his neck.

 

“Oh my god! You scared me!”

 

“I’m sorry,” he quickly apologized. “Do you trust me?”

 

You nodded against him and tightened your arms.

 

“Alright,” he exhaled.

 

Zen turned you both around and gently laid you on your back. You adjusted yourself to be more comfortable then smiled up at him. He leaned further in to kiss across your chin as he lifted your legs higher behind him.

 

“I’m going to make you feel as wonderful as you make me.”

 

You blinked up at him, a little surprised at his declaration. He thrust once and your expression returned to ecstasy. Able to penetrate you deeper, he concentrated on your face, exploring until he found the spot that gave him the best reaction - you leaving his shoulders to clench at his bedsheets, back arching and hips shaking in a futile attempt to escape the overwhelming electricity.

 

Pleased, he picked up speed, holding your legs tighter and grunting along with you. You screamed out his name now and he felt the coils tighten again.

 

“Come on, baby, come on,” he encouraged. He wanted to see your final expression when you came, but he also knew he couldn’t last much longer with these lewd sounds you were making. “S-so beautiful,” he gasped, unable to help himself. You were - how could he not tell you?

 

You tightened around him and he growled low. He thought you’d tell him when you were cumming but it took you both by surprise - he continued pumping, forcing his eyes open to watch your agape mouth let out a singsong gasp of his name. Zen finally let himself and your legs go, leaning over to groan in your ear and let himself fill you. Your arms curled around him and he kissed softly through the last of his release. He pulled his lips away to gasp for air, and slowly stood up, moving his hands to rub down yours until he intertwined his fingers.

 

“Zen?”

 

"Yes, honey?" he chuckled.

 

You smiled at the name and shyly looked away. He brought one of your hands to his lips and kissed it, making you turn back.

 

“W-why did you ask me about my..um..”

 

He paused. Right. He almost forgot.

 

“I want to do this again - with you. I…” He held back what he actually wanted to say, knowing declaring something so early with you might scare you off, or even make you think you were some sort of rebound for him. You thinking his feelings about you weren’t true would be a nightmare. “I really like you,” he decided on, “I know you’re _busy and_ don’t have time for such things but…”

 

You grinned at his joke and he pressed another kiss to your hand. “I would like to take you out.”

 

“Like a date?”

 

“As a date. The first of many.”

**Author's Note:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> This is the last of my 2018 backlog, will continue to upload the larger projects and clean up crack for 2019. Love y'all.


End file.
